This nagging feeling always in the back of my mind.  I don't know that I'd describe myself as a cynic, not because I'm not, though.  It's because I resist the definition; specifically the part that says cynics are downtrodden grumpy bitches, or that they hate themselves.

To me, it's synonymous with being realistic.  There are people in society who simply do not have the capability to do some things.  Which, really, is just a nice way of saying: not everyone who dreams of becoming an astronaut will become one by simply thinking hard about it.  

And, this is the worst part, no amount of hard work can guarantee success. The phrase "unbeatable odds" exists because human beings need a way to describe situations where it's extremely likely that things will work out badly for you. 

Understanding what unbeatable odds are keeps me grounded, but that's never been a bad thing for me.  And only recently do I feel like I have the language necessary to describe close to how I feel on a daily basis. An interlacing of ideas over the past few days that allowed for just the right mix for my tastes. 

I was told by my new boss to not be a cynic.  While meeting with him, I described myself as a cynic after complaining about the working conditions he was asking us to describe, so he could better understand how he could help the employees.  The uttering of the word was enough to rush a response of "Don't say that," from him.

I recently re-read an old favorite book, The Giver.  When Jonas, the main character, learns what it's like to feel lonely and isolated, it's not because he's literally alone.  It's because of what he knows. It's probably cliche to quote Nietzsche now, but I like him all the same. 

“It is the business of the very few to be independent; it is a privilege of the strong. And whoever attempts it, even with the best right, but without being OBLIGED to do so, proves that he is probably not only strong, but also daring beyond measure. He enters into a labyrinth, he multiplies a thousandfold the dangers which life in itself already brings with it; not the least of which is that no one can see how and where he loses his way, becomes isolated, and is torn piecemeal by some minotaur of conscience. Supposing such a one comes to grief, it is so far from the comprehension of men that they neither feel it, nor sympathize with it. And he cannot any longer go back! He cannot even go back again to the sympathy of men!”

- Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

Jonas wanders through a world of colorblind dystopians who maintain their happiness through their ignorance.  Louis Lowry invents strange encounters where Jonas is upset about his friends playing war games after receiving memories of war from the Giver, an middle aged man who looks as though he's pushing centenarian status because the weight of all the memories of the world are stored on his shoulders.  The two ways of thinking come together when one of his schoolyard friend innocently pretends to shoot him in the head following Jonas' complaint about the game being cruel.  

You feel bad for both of these mindsets simultaneously. 

Knowing even if he failed, at least he tried. 

This 

http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/08/you-can-do-em-anything-em-must-every-kids-movie-reinforce-the-cult-of-self-esteem/278596/ 

Smile or die.

only 50% of the population vote and politicians are making it harder, not easier, to do so. 

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.” 
― Oscar Wilde